I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
