Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
