I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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