I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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