anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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