Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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