So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
