Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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