So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
