sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
