i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
