Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
