if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
