no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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