so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
