I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
