he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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