P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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