You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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