I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
