that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
