We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize