a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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