hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
