Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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