Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
