alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
