So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
