we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
