I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Terrible idea I love it
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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