he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
