Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
