the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
