Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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