Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
