I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
be right there i have to get my cape
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
