Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
