Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field

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(650): View more from California

my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again

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(231): View more from Michigan

the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people

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(605): View more from South Dakota

She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.

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(775): View more from Nevada

For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet

(775): View more from Nevada

Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now

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(941): View more from Florida

Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night

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(317): View more from Indiana

They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year

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