just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
