How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
