Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Pants are for mortals
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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