when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
