if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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