i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
