THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
