The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
