just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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