But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
