so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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