I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
