She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
