Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
