so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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