okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
