ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize