I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Randomize
