brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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