Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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