ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize