they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
