so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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