Screwed.edu
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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