He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize